online dating cont'd

Urgh, so this whole online thing adds such LAYERS of complexity it's actually insane. For instance, I haven't heard from fashion boy in AGES (ok like one and a half days) but it's driving me wild, wild I say. I added him on fbook per his request, he hasn't gotten back on that either. I'm wildly paranoid, did he peruse through my pics and decide that my style was off (as it can be sometimes, I blame suzy shier and it's cheap glory) or maybe he saw a pic where I'm not wearing any makeup and decided my skin tone was too uneven or my pores are too big!

Thats another fear of mine! Am I misrepresenting myself but just including head shots? You can't see any of my "trouble spots" so I'm developing a whole whack of insecurities I never had before! Are my arms too big? What about my belly? Can you see that little bit of cellulite on my thighs? Should my ass be more toned? Should I go get a facial that I can't afford because my nose is starting to erupt in black heads? ARGH!

On the flip side it makes things easier to. I mean I would NEVER approach a guy in real life, I'm ballsy about some things but rejection really stings. Even online rejection! Plus sometimes I get really tongue tied and nervous and I have inane giggles and goofy smiles and trouble making eye contact! At least here I can play it cool.

But fashion boy, or fb if I may.... I hope you get back to me soon!

Internet dating... continued

So, life is going well-ish these days, aside from a couple of minor glitches (the disappearance of my glasses, my wallet being stolen, my continued refusal to crack open a text book) But I'm happy, sure I have a stress headache from not working but hey, if I just keep putting it off I won't fail because I'm stupid, I'll fail because I put it off.

I've been reading blogs again (excellent procrastination technique!) and I'm over 1000 behind... another thing I'll never catch up on.

But hey, I'm like 10 lbs lighter, I got my hair cut like Katie Holmes and I'm getting a kick out of internet dating (It is SOOOOOOO much easier then meeting people the usual way) Anyway, I've got a few going on right now, the main ones though are french guy, fashion guy, only wants sex guy, dubai guy and chiropractor guy.

The one that excites me the most though, is fashion guy. Already, he's giving me fashion and makeup tips, but he was in the army and watches football and such, it's such an interesting combination. PLUS hes 6' PLUS he's asian, did I mention I'm going through my asian phase right now? My last phase was a white phase which lasted for about a year so I figure I was long over due for a new racial phase!

(I don't know why but my mind works like this, for long periods of time I find only one race attractive... right now its asian guys, before that it was white guys, before that it was black guys and before that... I forget... but you get the idea)

Anywho... I went on a date with french guy. He was really cute, or I would think so if I wasn't going through asian phase, he's much better in person then online, some people come on really strong online since they can say things that they would normally be to inhibited to say in person. Our entire date was in french! Thats right, I spoke french for 2 solid hours, about... everything, heck even I'm impressed. The other good news? My english accent is cute.

internet dating part 1

So, much to the amusement or disgust of several friends, I have joined an internet dating site. It's been an interesting ride people. It's amazing what guys think is funny. It also amazes me how many cliched shots there are of people.... some suprisingly frequent ones that come up: the shirtless shot, the sunglasses shot, the swimming with dolphins shot, the with 4 girls shot, I don't know why these all keep cropping up? I don't know.

And the kinks people have! The guy that likes to do it in public, the one that likes spanking, the one who wants to play just the tip asap.

URGH

Oh Hai, sorry I've been gone

Lately... like the past month, I've been neglecting HUGE swaths of my life quite shamelessly and really I'm sorry! I AM. I've been preoccupied and studying and just not really feeling like doing anything. Sometimes a huge wack of apathy totally derails me for a little while, I hope that the fact that I'm posting right now means that I'm back!

So, what's new. I don't really know what to say. I wish I had tons of exciting updates. I wish that my life was as wild and crazy as I picture it in my head, the way that my Second Life would be if I had one.

Honestly I'm pretty out of practice in the blogging thing, so I'm going to leave it at this for now. More to follow with my life and the fearless things I might do (I have a doozy!) to follow.

comfort food (for the soul)

"The melon felt surprisingly heavy for its size, the skin freckled with beads of water, the stem end slightly soft. We inhaled and made admiring noises. The melon king smiled, his expression at odds with the eighteen-inch machete he had found in the corner. "Now you must see the flesh," he said, taking back the melon. A flick of the blade and it was in two halves, vivid orange, brimming with juice, a treat that he told us would "charm the throat and cool the belly." (I later found out that he had borrowed the line from a melon-fancier who was also a poet, but it was most impressive at the time.)
.... He let us buy a dozen, throwing in a handful of damp straw to line the shallow wooden box which he gave us to carry them away.
We stopped at a cafe before going back to the car, and found that we had another melon expert in our waiter. The thing to do he told us was to cut of the top, scoop out the seeds, pour a bottle of vodka into the hollow, and leave the melon in the fridge for twenty-four hours. The vodka is soaked up by the flesh of the melon, making a potent dessert of unimaginable delicacy.
Something to charm the throat and cool the belly?
"Voila" he said. "Exactement"
- Peter Mayle, from Encore Provence

I don't just have a repertoire of comfort foods, I also have a repertoire of comfort books, though I acknowledge, the common theme in those books seems to be total escapism (like in the sorcerer world of David Eddings) or homey comfortable books like Lucy Maude Montgomery.

I also have a penchant for books set in France, like the one above, or the swash buckling adventures of Alexandre Dumas. It's books in these three, very general categories, that I read over and over again.

The L. M. Montgomery books are very simple. Feminism is great, I love it, it serves me and I serve it. Equality is great. Technology is great. Modern day relationships are great. But at the end of the day they are also freakin' complicated. So L. M is my escape, along with Alcott and other books of that ilk. Anything Jane Austen is guaranteed to satisfy me.

Also, I just like really old books in general, vanity fair, and Charles Dickens, any book where I'm addressed as Dear Reader. Swiss Family Robinson and others. It's so detached from my world, it was before fiction played games and tried to shock and pain you (the way the Kite Runner or the God of Small things does. Those to books are NOT escapist literature), no those books serve to entertain, they detach you briefly from reality and its great.

Another genre, fantasy. Who doesn't want to move to Hogwarts? De-stressing escapism at its finest, Voldermort be damned.

The foodie books. You need books with good eating. If only to make your eating better. Flip through nigella or gourmet magazine before your super. The perfect prime, and it's wonderful to think about nothing but food for a bit.

And finally, the french culture books which I eat up. I devour them. Or really any book where they romanticize the 1600s and 1700s with swashbuckling musketeers and fainting ladies. I don't know what that says about me. No doubt some Freudian psychologist says it reflects my subconscious desire to be a weak willed sop of a woman.

Either way, these are the books I reread when I'm stressed and tired of my dry academic tomes. Sometimes I'm ashamed so I usually tote Machiavelli with me (or sometimes Aristotle) to make me feel better. Sometimes it works to.

food is love

All the diet and exercise magazines are going to strongly recommend against what I'm about to say, but I don't care. Sometimes we need food to make us feel better. There! I've said it! Are you suprised?

No?

Did I just go against every single fitness magazine that I've ever read that has said over and over, stop having an emotional relationship with food! It will make you fat! Food is fuel and nothing more!

Look people, the day food is nothing more then fuel, is the day that sex is nothing but a means of reproduction. It's the day that clothing, including silks, cashmeres, pretty dresses and hot jeans are nothing more then what we use to hide our nakedness and shelter our bodies from the elements. The day that food is nothing but fuel is the day that all the beauty in the world ceases to be important.

Am I being melodramatic? I don't think so. Every culture knows what I'm talking about. The preparation of a good meal is an act of love. Sitting together at a communal table, what is more elemental, what is more essential to what it means to be human, and alive, and AWARE. Food is love.

Ok, all that said, where am I going with this? This all started because, me being stressed out about exams and therefore procrastinating, what do you think I've been fantasizing about, day dreaming about, with a coy smile hovering around my lips like its some harlequin being written in my head? Not a man. Oh no. I don't think men are as satisfying as the things I was dreaming about (or at least no man I've met so far)

I've been dreaming about comfort food. My famous chocolate chip cookies, the delicious, incredible pasta carbonara I made for myself once, and only once since my parents frown on fatty pastas (living with home is a trial sometimes) nuts and bolts. This really divine burger that I haven't had since the summer. The stupendous pizza I had in the Dominican (I was surprised too). Its all been dancing through my head. I've been telling people about it too. They think I'm weird, or maybe they think the gym is finally getting to me. My sister took the opportunity to lecture me about my bad food choices (whatever miss Coolers and poutine! (ooooooh poutine... I just opened up another can of worms))

Anyways, where I'm REALLY going here is this: do not be ashamed to turn to food in comfort. Make yourself a home cooked meal, have a glass of wine, top it off with a cookie and some milk. That is healthy comfort food. An entire pint of Cherry Garcia, not so much.

Also, this is sort of my one and a half hours at the gym talking. I tried to satiate it with cheese but it's roaring for pasta, cookies, or nuts and bolts.

What Machiavelli forgot

There's something you should know about political science students. Actually, several things. 1) Yes, even we are occasionally bored by our own subject matter. I was lulled in to napping earlier on today reading about Chinese politics which, considering how volatile they are (in comparison to Canadian politics) was no mean feat.

2) We all plan to take over the world someday. It's kind of embarassing and cliched actually.

3) We have absolutely no fashion sense whatsoever. If you don't believe me look at parliament. If you don't believe them, contrast Hilary Clinton and her array of pantsuits (and her success) to Sarah Palin and her fashiongate (and her failure). Hell, I'm not even touching the men, caus we know they mix their plaids and polkadots.

4) We're argumentative by nature. We're sorry, we know its obnoxious, we can't help it.

5) All that said, we must be great in bed given the disproportionate number of cheating politicians.