Yesterday was a big day. Yesterday was the day my little sister became old enough to drink in Toronto. That's right folks, the girl is 19. Actually I should call her a woman. So, to commemorate this special day I decided to get her jewelry. www.etsy.com is a wonderful site. Everything is handmade, everything is priced reasonably and everything is one of a kind. But at the end of the day I suppose that that's not what I really wanted to write about.
I'm rereading the alchemist and it's making me think. I need time to figure out my life, but my life seems ready to charge on without me. How nice would it be, to spend a couple of months in contemplative solitude. Not isolation, not silence, but a kind of introspective solitude so that you have time to figure stuff out. Maybe at an ashram in India, maybe on a beach on some teeny tiny greek island. Maybe right here at home, but with no job, enough money to see a shrink, do yoga every day and go to organic cooking classes. I want to hit pause, I want to figure out my life, sort through my "issues"; my fears, my phobias. And then when I'm good and ready, get back into it again....
If only right?
Saturday, May 16, 2009
Friday, May 15, 2009
Doin' my I have 9 followers dance!
Oh my goodness, 9 followers, this thing is really snow balling :P. Oh man... so much to talk about I don't even know where to start. I'm going to think in categories here: school, romance, social life, misc., career, am I missing anything? Oh man if only I had a blackberry, I could blog on the train! Anywho...
School: I suck. I really do. Its pretty embarrassing. My profs think I'm wildly intelligent until it takes me 3 weeks to complete a simple 10 pager. I of course know exactly whats going on. They don't. Am I going to tell them? No. I should, but instead they just think I smoke a lot of pot or spend too much time getting my nails done or whatever.
Romance: Ok, fucking dating sites. Sorry, but man... people can portray themselves however they want and it SUCKS because I wind up disappointed and so do they. On the flip side, meeting people in real life is hard. Maybe I'm socially retarded.
Social life: Essentially non-existant because of school. I occasionally get dragged to a party I don't want to attend. Sometimes I go to a club or bar with a few people but things have been kind of lacklustre of late.
Misc: Oh my effing Lord, I'm training for a triathlon people. I know right... Because enough is enough. It saddens me that running a mile is so damn exhausting. It also saddens me that I have flub where my triceps should be. No longer people, no longer. Plus, hopefully I'll be ready to do Run for the Cure in September.
Also, how does one go about writing a novel? I suppose its just one more thing that I'm going to procrastinate on this summer, but I think it would be kind of fun. If you have any tips feel free to share.
Work: I HAVE A SUMMER JOOOOOOB! Woot! This is awesome. I don't have to become a street baker or a nanny for 8 bratty children. Thank heavens! Nope, instead, one of my professors is going to hire me. (I know, I was suprised too!) Cross your fingers for me, tell your friends.
School: I suck. I really do. Its pretty embarrassing. My profs think I'm wildly intelligent until it takes me 3 weeks to complete a simple 10 pager. I of course know exactly whats going on. They don't. Am I going to tell them? No. I should, but instead they just think I smoke a lot of pot or spend too much time getting my nails done or whatever.
Romance: Ok, fucking dating sites. Sorry, but man... people can portray themselves however they want and it SUCKS because I wind up disappointed and so do they. On the flip side, meeting people in real life is hard. Maybe I'm socially retarded.
Social life: Essentially non-existant because of school. I occasionally get dragged to a party I don't want to attend. Sometimes I go to a club or bar with a few people but things have been kind of lacklustre of late.
Misc: Oh my effing Lord, I'm training for a triathlon people. I know right... Because enough is enough. It saddens me that running a mile is so damn exhausting. It also saddens me that I have flub where my triceps should be. No longer people, no longer. Plus, hopefully I'll be ready to do Run for the Cure in September.
Also, how does one go about writing a novel? I suppose its just one more thing that I'm going to procrastinate on this summer, but I think it would be kind of fun. If you have any tips feel free to share.
Work: I HAVE A SUMMER JOOOOOOB! Woot! This is awesome. I don't have to become a street baker or a nanny for 8 bratty children. Thank heavens! Nope, instead, one of my professors is going to hire me. (I know, I was suprised too!) Cross your fingers for me, tell your friends.
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
I heart letters
I really do. Because I find them ALL over the place, and notes that my friends and I passed, scrap bits of paper with to-do lists, story ideas, things that I want, goals etc. My room is littered with them. My favourite has got to be letters however. I don't have any love letters YET but someday I hope I will. Anyway, I found this one little gem that I wanted to share, it's from when I was a ten-year old camper and as much of a misfit as you've ever seen. Let me paint the picture for you before I share the letter, with a few short words and phrases: book worm, too smart, gangly, boyish, thick glasses, poor wardrobe, socially awkward, too honest, too trusting. Can you see why I might have had trouble making friends? Anyway, long story short, I was, for a number of years, the kind of target certain girls dream of encountering and, Christian camp or no, there was still that kind of girl. So, the letter, from one of my councellors. Very sweet and just the kind of thing an insecure little dork like me needed to hear.
Dear Laura,
It's late at night Saturday and for some reason I thought of you. I wanted to say something to you that I didn't get a chance to at camp.
I know some of the girls gave you a hard time at camp. You are going to run into that in life. You are different from a lot of people. You are very smart and that will make some people dislike you. (editor's note: told you!) My advice to you is try not to let it get to you. You are very special and you should not let others make you feel bad about that. Don't ever deny your brains. I'm sure you're destined for something gret in life. Look around for people who can appreciate your specialness. They are out there!
It was wonderful having you at camp. Hope to run in to you again.
Love,
____
So, I think the moral of this is two-fold. Never underestimate the difference a kind word can make in a child's life. And two, be different! I probably couldn't have blended in with the "cool girls" even if I had tried, but as I got older I found people who appreciated me. I grew too... I was none the worse for the bullying I received, in fact it made me stronger. BUT, some people don't get away so lightly. Oh yeah, I guess thats lesson number 3, grow!
Dear Laura,
It's late at night Saturday and for some reason I thought of you. I wanted to say something to you that I didn't get a chance to at camp.
I know some of the girls gave you a hard time at camp. You are going to run into that in life. You are different from a lot of people. You are very smart and that will make some people dislike you. (editor's note: told you!) My advice to you is try not to let it get to you. You are very special and you should not let others make you feel bad about that. Don't ever deny your brains. I'm sure you're destined for something gret in life. Look around for people who can appreciate your specialness. They are out there!
It was wonderful having you at camp. Hope to run in to you again.
Love,
____
So, I think the moral of this is two-fold. Never underestimate the difference a kind word can make in a child's life. And two, be different! I probably couldn't have blended in with the "cool girls" even if I had tried, but as I got older I found people who appreciated me. I grew too... I was none the worse for the bullying I received, in fact it made me stronger. BUT, some people don't get away so lightly. Oh yeah, I guess thats lesson number 3, grow!
Thursday, April 30, 2009
10 things I would rather do then go job hunting
I'm thinking of starting a list of all the things I would rather do instead of finding a job.
1) read classical political theory
2) reorganize my closet by colour and clothing type
3) read every russian literature book I can get my hands on
4) mow the lawn... in a spiral pattern.
5) write 5 novellas in a gossip girl style targeted at stupid girls.
6) learn jazz or tap or something requiring the same amount of coordination
7) go out with a fat bald guy 30 years my senior
8) learn to play the oboe.
9) master the art of haikus and make a day-by-day haiku calendar
10) stay in bed all day and pretend I don't need money!
1) read classical political theory
2) reorganize my closet by colour and clothing type
3) read every russian literature book I can get my hands on
4) mow the lawn... in a spiral pattern.
5) write 5 novellas in a gossip girl style targeted at stupid girls.
6) learn jazz or tap or something requiring the same amount of coordination
7) go out with a fat bald guy 30 years my senior
8) learn to play the oboe.
9) master the art of haikus and make a day-by-day haiku calendar
10) stay in bed all day and pretend I don't need money!
Monday, April 27, 2009
So... I bought this dress. In retrospect it was kind of an impulse buy and probably not worth the 90$ I spent on it but DAMN it is cute. I can't wait to wear it in public, ideally with my most ass covering pair of nickers because MAN is it SHORT!
Is it cute or what? Next time I'll take off the jacket but folks, my arms are one of my "trouble spots" you see, I used to swim competitively so I used to have these big muscular arms and shoulders, well the muscle is long gone but my arms are still big! Or at least it seems that way to me! Anyway its nothing that some pushups won't fix, so hopefully they'll be ready to show off by mid may.
Saturday, April 25, 2009
PARIS
When people think of the epicentre of culture (western culture anyway) they tend to think of one place more than any other. When people are talking of places they want to visit eventually, it might not top their list but it's on there and they always wind their way to that city eventually. Sure people might long for hot sandy beaches, turquoise water and dark skinned men with their white teeth flashing against their tans. Or they might want the hustle and bustle of an Asian city, steaming and savoury dishes, fluffy hot rice, tucked in to corners temples and remnants of their greatness. But eventually, if it's not at the top of their lists, people will say "and of course there's Paris".
Why? What do we love so much about the City of Light. Perhaps its the food? There are definitely people who would quite contentedly eat their way through Paris, with a Guide Michelin in hand they would go to a three or four starred restaurant for every meal, they would go to the open air markets devotedly, they would go to as many caves as possible, getting in a wine tasting every day if they could. They would delight in the little boulangerie right outside their hotel, where they would get their morning croissants- made not 15 minutes ago as Madame assured them- and sit at a little table out front and order a cafe au lait with their croissants.
Some people go for the culture. Paris is FULL of museums, churches relics of history war memorials etc. To go through the Louvre and give the art work the attention it deserves would take months. And then there's the light and airy and entirely beautiful musee d'Orsay, an old train station converted in to a shrine for slightly more modern artists. My favourite museum of them all though, had to be the Rodin museum. In his old, large and very beautiful house and throughout his gardens there is an impressive amount of statuary. There is also, if my memory serves me, a small outdoor cafe on the property, so that you can take a little refreshment and contemplate Rodin's genius at the same time.
Others still go for the fashion. That indescribable way that french women have of dressing that many others try to replicate but can never duplicate. The priviledge of shopping in the homeland of some of fashion's greatest names. A chance to get a little preview of whats to come (France is roughly a year ahead of us fashion-wise).
And lastly, I suspect that some people go simply to absorb and enjoy a little bit of frenchness. The french have something that a lot of the rest of the world doesn't understand, they have joie de vivre. Joie de vivre isn't quite as simple as enjoying life. It takes a little more conscious thought. It actually involves trying to make life pleasurable. So for example, when you're in France you may notice an astounding absence of gaudy mansions, hummers, SUVs etc. Instead what you're likely to see is tiny appartments, itty bitty houses with front gardens that are an absolute riot of flowers and lots of mopeds. This is no because the French earn less, but rather because they'ld rather spend their money on other things. The French spend a much higher amount of money, proportionally on food, vacations and other little pleasurable things. The French are much more likely to value a good restaurant meal over more gas for a hummer.
Anyway, I'm not going to lecture, the whole point of this was a brief bit of nostalgia and longing for my favourite place in the world.
Why? What do we love so much about the City of Light. Perhaps its the food? There are definitely people who would quite contentedly eat their way through Paris, with a Guide Michelin in hand they would go to a three or four starred restaurant for every meal, they would go to the open air markets devotedly, they would go to as many caves as possible, getting in a wine tasting every day if they could. They would delight in the little boulangerie right outside their hotel, where they would get their morning croissants- made not 15 minutes ago as Madame assured them- and sit at a little table out front and order a cafe au lait with their croissants.
Some people go for the culture. Paris is FULL of museums, churches relics of history war memorials etc. To go through the Louvre and give the art work the attention it deserves would take months. And then there's the light and airy and entirely beautiful musee d'Orsay, an old train station converted in to a shrine for slightly more modern artists. My favourite museum of them all though, had to be the Rodin museum. In his old, large and very beautiful house and throughout his gardens there is an impressive amount of statuary. There is also, if my memory serves me, a small outdoor cafe on the property, so that you can take a little refreshment and contemplate Rodin's genius at the same time.
Others still go for the fashion. That indescribable way that french women have of dressing that many others try to replicate but can never duplicate. The priviledge of shopping in the homeland of some of fashion's greatest names. A chance to get a little preview of whats to come (France is roughly a year ahead of us fashion-wise).
And lastly, I suspect that some people go simply to absorb and enjoy a little bit of frenchness. The french have something that a lot of the rest of the world doesn't understand, they have joie de vivre. Joie de vivre isn't quite as simple as enjoying life. It takes a little more conscious thought. It actually involves trying to make life pleasurable. So for example, when you're in France you may notice an astounding absence of gaudy mansions, hummers, SUVs etc. Instead what you're likely to see is tiny appartments, itty bitty houses with front gardens that are an absolute riot of flowers and lots of mopeds. This is no because the French earn less, but rather because they'ld rather spend their money on other things. The French spend a much higher amount of money, proportionally on food, vacations and other little pleasurable things. The French are much more likely to value a good restaurant meal over more gas for a hummer.
Anyway, I'm not going to lecture, the whole point of this was a brief bit of nostalgia and longing for my favourite place in the world.
Sunday, April 19, 2009
Mystery solved!
GUYS!
I've answered one of life's mysteries! I'm so excited... I HAD to share! I've always wondered, why do lyrics NOT make sense, and folks, I've figured it out. All across the nation, as I write, variations of the same conversation are going on. It goes like this.
"Dude, great song, but the lyrics don't make sense"
"So?"
"Well, dude... like... people have gotta understand what we're trying to say!"
"What are we trying to say Ned?"
"Dude... that's soooo deep."
"Look Ned, no one is gonna not buy our album because the lyrics don't make sense, and if anyone were to question us, and they wouldn't because no one wants to seem stupid, we would just say that we refuse to explain ourselves."
"Whoa... dude... that's why you're the master."
I've answered one of life's mysteries! I'm so excited... I HAD to share! I've always wondered, why do lyrics NOT make sense, and folks, I've figured it out. All across the nation, as I write, variations of the same conversation are going on. It goes like this.
"Dude, great song, but the lyrics don't make sense"
"So?"
"Well, dude... like... people have gotta understand what we're trying to say!"
"What are we trying to say Ned?"
"Dude... that's soooo deep."
"Look Ned, no one is gonna not buy our album because the lyrics don't make sense, and if anyone were to question us, and they wouldn't because no one wants to seem stupid, we would just say that we refuse to explain ourselves."
"Whoa... dude... that's why you're the master."
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