Thursday, April 30, 2009

10 things I would rather do then go job hunting

I'm thinking of starting a list of all the things I would rather do instead of finding a job.

1) read classical political theory
2) reorganize my closet by colour and clothing type
3) read every russian literature book I can get my hands on
4) mow the lawn... in a spiral pattern.
5) write 5 novellas in a gossip girl style targeted at stupid girls.
6) learn jazz or tap or something requiring the same amount of coordination
7) go out with a fat bald guy 30 years my senior
8) learn to play the oboe.
9) master the art of haikus and make a day-by-day haiku calendar
10) stay in bed all day and pretend I don't need money!

Monday, April 27, 2009

So... I bought this dress. In retrospect it was kind of an impulse buy and probably not worth the 90$ I spent on it but DAMN it is cute. I can't wait to wear it in public, ideally with my most ass covering pair of nickers because MAN is it SHORT!

Is it cute or what? Next time I'll take off the jacket but folks, my arms are one of my "trouble spots" you see, I used to swim competitively so I used to have these big muscular arms and shoulders, well the muscle is long gone but my arms are still big! Or at least it seems that way to me! Anyway its nothing that some pushups won't fix, so hopefully they'll be ready to show off by mid may.

Saturday, April 25, 2009


When people think of the epicentre of culture (western culture anyway) they tend to think of one place more than any other. When people are talking of places they want to visit eventually, it might not top their list but it's on there and they always wind their way to that city eventually. Sure people might long for hot sandy beaches, turquoise water and dark skinned men with their white teeth flashing against their tans. Or they might want the hustle and bustle of an Asian city, steaming and savoury dishes, fluffy hot rice, tucked in to corners temples and remnants of their greatness. But eventually, if it's not at the top of their lists, people will say "and of course there's Paris".

Why? What do we love so much about the City of Light. Perhaps its the food? There are definitely people who would quite contentedly eat their way through Paris, with a Guide Michelin in hand they would go to a three or four starred restaurant for every meal, they would go to the open air markets devotedly, they would go to as many caves as possible, getting in a wine tasting every day if they could. They would delight in the little boulangerie right outside their hotel, where they would get their morning croissants- made not 15 minutes ago as Madame assured them- and sit at a little table out front and order a cafe au lait with their croissants.

Some people go for the culture. Paris is FULL of museums, churches relics of history war memorials etc. To go through the Louvre and give the art work the attention it deserves would take months. And then there's the light and airy and entirely beautiful musee d'Orsay, an old train station converted in to a shrine for slightly more modern artists. My favourite museum of them all though, had to be the Rodin museum. In his old, large and very beautiful house and throughout his gardens there is an impressive amount of statuary. There is also, if my memory serves me, a small outdoor cafe on the property, so that you can take a little refreshment and contemplate Rodin's genius at the same time.

Others still go for the fashion. That indescribable way that french women have of dressing that many others try to replicate but can never duplicate. The priviledge of shopping in the homeland of some of fashion's greatest names. A chance to get a little preview of whats to come (France is roughly a year ahead of us fashion-wise).

And lastly, I suspect that some people go simply to absorb and enjoy a little bit of frenchness. The french have something that a lot of the rest of the world doesn't understand, they have joie de vivre. Joie de vivre isn't quite as simple as enjoying life. It takes a little more conscious thought. It actually involves trying to make life pleasurable. So for example, when you're in France you may notice an astounding absence of gaudy mansions, hummers, SUVs etc. Instead what you're likely to see is tiny appartments, itty bitty houses with front gardens that are an absolute riot of flowers and lots of mopeds. This is no because the French earn less, but rather because they'ld rather spend their money on other things. The French spend a much higher amount of money, proportionally on food, vacations and other little pleasurable things. The French are much more likely to value a good restaurant meal over more gas for a hummer.

Anyway, I'm not going to lecture, the whole point of this was a brief bit of nostalgia and longing for my favourite place in the world.

Sunday, April 19, 2009

Mystery solved!


I've answered one of life's mysteries! I'm so excited... I HAD to share! I've always wondered, why do lyrics NOT make sense, and folks, I've figured it out. All across the nation, as I write, variations of the same conversation are going on. It goes like this.

"Dude, great song, but the lyrics don't make sense"


"Well, dude... like... people have gotta understand what we're trying to say!"

"What are we trying to say Ned?"

"Dude... that's soooo deep."

"Look Ned, no one is gonna not buy our album because the lyrics don't make sense, and if anyone were to question us, and they wouldn't because no one wants to seem stupid, we would just say that we refuse to explain ourselves."

"Whoa... dude... that's why you're the master."

Saturday, April 18, 2009

internet neuroses.. I mean dating

zomg.... I have 6 followers! 6! I can't handle the pressure, I need one of you to leave now, k?! Actually, please don't I would cry, for days. Follower rejection would hurt more then dating website rejection.... So lets dive right in to the fray shall we? I feel as if, some guys have become disillusioned because, lets be real here folks, we all pick our most flattering pics to put on the site, so when they add me on fbook, and see the drunk shots, well you know.

Also, chiropractor boy, who I might add is graduating from kin shortly is fit. And I'm not... I feel as if he may be disappointed. We exchanged pics of a slightly more naked nature (swimsuits guys! JEEZE) and I feel paranoid because so far I've received, no comment. Nothing wreaks havoc with a woman's self-esteem like no comment.

Anywhoo, post is short because I am mad tired, and slightly tipsy and I have an early day tomorrow. So love you all! Have a bee-you-tiful weekend!

Monday, April 13, 2009

more, from the dating website

so... I really like to peruse people's profiles, it's interesting checking out how people try and sell themselves.

"looking for a woman I can trust" could mean one of two things: a) I got hurt, so I'll never trust you. b) I'm looking for a sucker.

"no mothers please" means: I'm funny.. ha.ha

"verrry interesting" means: he's anything but

"looking for a soul mate" means: I'm sad and alone and not meeting my life goal of being married before I turn 25

"friends and maybe more" means: I'm trying to seem disarming and suggestive. So I come off as creepy.

"Love IS commitment, not a feeling" wow... that's... depressing...

"LETS GO BLUEEEEEES!!!!!!!!!!" because.. that is how you attract a woman!

Friday, April 10, 2009

Internet dating part four

Well, I went out with nurse boy and it was... a train wreck. Really I should have seen it coming, I like people who are different from me but we need SOME things in common for you know... conversation and such. This boy was like TOTAL opposite, I feared talking politics with him since hes so woefully uninformed and bored by it. I'm not interested in nursing, we had no common ground upon which to build... I should have seen it coming.

I sort of want to have a new rule of only dating university people, I feel like that would be wildly pretentious but at least that way I can avoid people who "don't read". Actually I cringed as I typed that last sentence. There are a whole lot of middle class liberal types like my self who fear seeming snobby more then anything else in the world. As a result sometimes we put up with people who are just not agood match so that we can't be accused of said snobbery. Well, I still have the guy from Dubai, Fashion guy, chiropractor guy, and the guy who likes sex in public places (yeah I dunno about that one either). I don't know what happened to french arab guy, I haven't talked to him since either monday or tuesday... I'm a little bummed about that because, with him, I could really practice my french, and you know, I had some diversity.

Thursday, April 9, 2009

online dating cont'd

Urgh, so this whole online thing adds such LAYERS of complexity it's actually insane. For instance, I haven't heard from fashion boy in AGES (ok like one and a half days) but it's driving me wild, wild I say. I added him on fbook per his request, he hasn't gotten back on that either. I'm wildly paranoid, did he peruse through my pics and decide that my style was off (as it can be sometimes, I blame suzy shier and it's cheap glory) or maybe he saw a pic where I'm not wearing any makeup and decided my skin tone was too uneven or my pores are too big!

Thats another fear of mine! Am I misrepresenting myself but just including head shots? You can't see any of my "trouble spots" so I'm developing a whole whack of insecurities I never had before! Are my arms too big? What about my belly? Can you see that little bit of cellulite on my thighs? Should my ass be more toned? Should I go get a facial that I can't afford because my nose is starting to erupt in black heads? ARGH!

On the flip side it makes things easier to. I mean I would NEVER approach a guy in real life, I'm ballsy about some things but rejection really stings. Even online rejection! Plus sometimes I get really tongue tied and nervous and I have inane giggles and goofy smiles and trouble making eye contact! At least here I can play it cool.

But fashion boy, or fb if I may.... I hope you get back to me soon!

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Internet dating... continued

So, life is going well-ish these days, aside from a couple of minor glitches (the disappearance of my glasses, my wallet being stolen, my continued refusal to crack open a text book) But I'm happy, sure I have a stress headache from not working but hey, if I just keep putting it off I won't fail because I'm stupid, I'll fail because I put it off.

I've been reading blogs again (excellent procrastination technique!) and I'm over 1000 behind... another thing I'll never catch up on.

But hey, I'm like 10 lbs lighter, I got my hair cut like Katie Holmes and I'm getting a kick out of internet dating (It is SOOOOOOO much easier then meeting people the usual way) Anyway, I've got a few going on right now, the main ones though are french guy, fashion guy, only wants sex guy, dubai guy and chiropractor guy.

The one that excites me the most though, is fashion guy. Already, he's giving me fashion and makeup tips, but he was in the army and watches football and such, it's such an interesting combination. PLUS hes 6' PLUS he's asian, did I mention I'm going through my asian phase right now? My last phase was a white phase which lasted for about a year so I figure I was long over due for a new racial phase!

(I don't know why but my mind works like this, for long periods of time I find only one race attractive... right now its asian guys, before that it was white guys, before that it was black guys and before that... I forget... but you get the idea)

Anywho... I went on a date with french guy. He was really cute, or I would think so if I wasn't going through asian phase, he's much better in person then online, some people come on really strong online since they can say things that they would normally be to inhibited to say in person. Our entire date was in french! Thats right, I spoke french for 2 solid hours, about... everything, heck even I'm impressed. The other good news? My english accent is cute.

Saturday, April 4, 2009

internet dating part 1

So, much to the amusement or disgust of several friends, I have joined an internet dating site. It's been an interesting ride people. It's amazing what guys think is funny. It also amazes me how many cliched shots there are of people.... some suprisingly frequent ones that come up: the shirtless shot, the sunglasses shot, the swimming with dolphins shot, the with 4 girls shot, I don't know why these all keep cropping up? I don't know.

And the kinks people have! The guy that likes to do it in public, the one that likes spanking, the one who wants to play just the tip asap.