So, if the name doesn't say it all, and if my past "anti-diet" post didn't, I'm not a big fan of diets. However, in an effort to be a little more aware of my dietary habits, and make sure that I'm consuming healthy amounts of fruits and veggies, I decided to keep a record of my eating habits. TOTALLY a bad idea. I'm pretty sure it's a hop skip and a jump away from counting calories, and calorie counters are the next door neighbours of eating disorders. Not to mention the whole thing is very very scary, but scary in a way I don't want to persue. Now, let me confess, it gave me a little insight in to the hard core dieter's mind, and I almost saw the appeal. Scary I know. But to people like me, control is very tempting. There is SO little in our lives that we can control. We can't control the people around us, or our work, income etc. We don't have control when disaster strikes, and based on the newspapers, disaster strikes several times a day. So why not take control of something deeply personal, what we eat, how much we exercise, and thus our weight.
So, originally I thought I was doing the cop out thing. In the back of my head I was thinking "come on, this isn't for real, you just want to live the way you always live and not feel guilty." I'll never fully silence that voice in my head. Instead I'm going to respond with, yes and no. Yes, I want to live with a little less guilt. Women are laden with guilt. We're programmed that way. If we some how fall short of our own expecations we feel guilty, it's even worse when we disappoint others. But also, I do want to live and eat more healthfully. I think that I have made a good change in my life. I had a burger and fries for lunch but I have yogurt and almonds waiting as my afternoon snack. I walk a LOT and I try to do some yoga a few times a week.
So yeah, that part of my life seems to be going really well. BUT(!) other parts not so much. Yes I'm still scared of people in general really. That whole fear of rejection thing. Just because I've now made friends with the girl down the hall does not mean I'm about to make friends with the really hot guy down the hall. Soo for my darling friends who read without responding, (you know who you are) lets give Laura some fun and exciting challenges for the near future!