Friday, August 22, 2008
I saw my future on Wednesday when I was watching TV and it wasn't pretty. I was watching Scrubs probably because I was missing my sister and its one of her favourite shows. The main character's brother was coming to visit. The main character is a medical student doing his residency (so basically a doctor) and his brother is a bartender still living with his parents. At the end of the show the brothers were having a heart to heart and confronting some of their issues. One of the most significant issues was the fact that the doctor was ashamed of his brother. I think his brother sort of saw himself as a free-spirit type, but J.D. said the reason for his crappy job and the fact that he's still living with his parents was because he was so afraid to fail he didn't want to try anything that he loved or thought he would love. When I saw the confrontation scene my mind almost exploded. The problem is I don't know how to keep myself from falling in to Dan (the brother's) pattern I know it can be done but how? I know that I'm always making up excuses for myself, justifying the things I don't like about my life and convincing myself that everything is fine. But what if its not? Am I placidly plodding along in the general direction of obscurity, boredom and uneventfulness? If so I better turn myself around because that's not how I saw myself living!