Wednesday, December 10, 2008

single during the holidays...

People tend to blog a lot about being single, in fact I would maintain that it is a far more popular theme then the joys of a solid and comforting relationship ever will be. Why? Well in the book Atonement one of the characters said that she liked writing about ugly people better, there were far more ways to describe ugliness then beauty, everyone beautiful looks the same. That's kind of how relationships are, once you've talked about how much you love each other, how happy you make each other and how you can't imagine never feeling this way, there's not a whole lot left to talk about. Not to mention the fact that, most relationships inevitably settle in to a rut... singles do to of course, they just get to bitch about that rut because they're single. Singleness on the other hand comes in a wonderful array. Firstly, there are the miserable singles, these people are absolutely convinced that their lives would be so much better if only they had a significant other. Their self esteem would be better (since someone finds them attractive), it doesn't matter how crappy their job is because there's someone wonderful to come home to, and having partner is going to fill that aching void of loneliness that is inevitably in their lives.

Then there is the kind of single that is indifferent to their singleness. They've accepted it, they go out with their friends, they have hobbies, they try to go places to meet new people, they go on the occasional date. These people do not bemoan their singleness and they see it as a phase. But on the flip side they don't celebrate their singleness either.

The third kind of single is the kind that celebrates their singleness, they wallow in it. The perfect example in my mind is Samantha from Sex and the City. She is the quintessential bachelorette and has every intention of remaining so for the rest of her life. She revels in the freedom of being without that ball and chain, she gets the stability of a relationship from her friendships and she gets the sex from... well... the masses. She is a total narcissist and likes it that way.

So my friends, what makes singleness truly interesting is that no one is one of these three all the time. People tend to bounce back and forth between the three, and sometimes they find themselves in between two of them.

The reason why I'm giving so much thought to singleness is the holidays, specifically New Years. The holidays are bad enough with the majority of my cousins and my sister in relationships but now add to the mix New Years, the holiday with the most pressure to be with someone... anyone if only at the strike of midnight. (Well Valentines is probably more pressure, or would be if I wasn't looking forward to the discount chocolate on the 15th) So here am I trying to figure out what to do with myself, I talk to one of my bffs, she's going to a club with her bf and some other people, I ask if some of those people will be single. She said no, is that a problem? The answer is a resounding omfg YES!!! See here's the thing, its not that I mind being with couples, I don't but I really really cannot stand being a third wheel. I get strength in numbers. I need people to commiserate with. I need people to talk to when all the couples get all PDA on me. Trust me, there is absolutely nothing more awkward then sitting in a hotel room with 5 other couples that are making out, whispering to each other or drunkenly arguing. Well... the only thing more awkward would be if they started having sex.

So my assessment: I need a date, another single or another party... STAT!

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